Bittersweet Friends

It’s strange – I find it difficult to strike a balance between my work creativity, and my personal creativity. So generally speaking, when I am working full time, my ideas become entirely devoted to graphic design, and any desire to do anything in my spare time that doesn’t involve camping on my couch or binging on popsicles evaporates. My contract at my former job ended a week and a half ago. Within 3 days I was having so many ideas that I had to start writing them down (see ‘My Shitty Memory’, as referenced in the previous post). If only I could mesh the two together and find something I find creativity stimulating that I got paid for then I would be set! Money is good, and so is eating. So far my plan has stalled. I will persevere one day, mark my words.

I’ve decided to guide you through a process of making a new Bittersweet. I went to see Cirque de Soleil the other day and the popcorn consumption was everywhere. I was inspired by their old timey packaging, plus I always like sewing pieces that have multiple faces. So here goes nothing. I apologize for the time you are about to waste reading what follows.

I start with the idea. I generally do not sketch them first, as I’m lazy; I like to whip out the scissors, throw caution to the wind and just start a’cutting. 9 times out of 10 I fail miserably, as puzzles, mathematics, and perspective have always been just out of my intellectual reach. I go through a lot of felt this way, but patterns are for pussies! Pussies I say! (Or rather just people far more methodical and able to follow directions than I am). Whatever.

So I choose the color scheme, in this case I’m going to go traditional red, white and beige. Beige? What color is popcorn usually? Felt really doesn’t come in that many colors, unfortunately. I should probably go the route of the stuff that they sell at movie theatres that is fluorescent yellow and likely leaching chemicals into our systems as we speak causing birth defects to future generations. I might go beige and sew it all together with yellow thread.

Figure out the base piece first. It’s usually the large foundation that I will build the rest of it on. If I screw up this part (which I often do) I will either have to unpick everything and redo it, or what usually happens – is I pitch a fit and throw the piece behind the couch in a fit of frustration and a slew of obscenities. Then I eat some ice cream to console myself. I’m going to be more careful this time. I think It’s going to be the base, the stripes, and then the popcorn. In total, it will probably be about 25 separate bits. Although I have no less than 17 pairs of scissors in my apartment, I’m convinced the little bastards corroborate during the night and play a game of hide and seek just to piss me off. Do you think I can find any at the moment? I’m contemplating using my teeth, or gardening shears. Either might end up with a interesting final effect.

Scissors located! Let the cutting commence. Have I mentioned that despite 5 years of art school I can’t draw a straight line? Thrust a sharp cutting too in my hand and it’s even worse. It’s a miracle all my digits are in tact. I will knock on wood to undo the inevitability of me now snipping off my thumb tip by making that comment.

Dear Perspective, why are you such an asshole? I’ll give you a minute to think about it and get back to you. The red stripes look like half bitten hot dogs. Because I’m trying to do this step by step in front of an imaginary audience, I’m screwing everything up more than usual. Stop pressuring me, people who don’t exist, and who are currently scrutinizing my inability to have basic motor skills. I’d like to see you do better! Actually, I wouldn’t, as it would make me feel even more inadequate about my craftiness on account of being one-upped by a fictitious person. Alsoplus, I’m not doing this as a video, but rather still frames and half-assed descriptions, so it will be tough to piece together what I’m doing anyway. It’s more like those annoying cooking shows that take you half-way through the recipe, then put the batter under the counter, and magically 2 seconds later, pull out a fully formed cake. That’s this, only slightly less organized, and much less tasty. I’m sorry in advance. Shit. I just slipped and cut off too much felt, and now I’ll have to redo the base. It’s ok, we’ll put more icing on it later, no one will be any the wiser.

OMG, I’m embarrassed at my momentary lack of sewing skills. Perhaps it’s just performance anxiety? Or just poor judgment. It’s not unlike a drunk deciding it would be a good idea to take up chainsaw carving in the midst of a bender. Speaking of drunk, maybe wine might improve this situation? It certainly couldn’t hurt at this point.

The funny this about this whole thing is that this is not a tutorial, and no one will  actually see this, and it’s going to take me 4 hours to sew the damn thing together anyway. I don’t know why I’ve put so much undue pressure on myself.  I should also refrain from typing while I do that because it will turn into a 9000 word rambling essay about my lack of hand-eye coordination and repeatedly jabbing myself with needles and drinking wine. Which is helpful for no one at any time.

The popcorn heads are drastically disproportionate, and lopsided. Which when I sew the faces on it will be interesting, but for the sake of picture taking, just look pitiful. Poor mutant popcorns. I’m sorry I did so much drinking while conceiving you.

The popcorns are now starting to look like malformed jellyfish or ghosties with glandular issues. I no longer care.

I also just ate a substantial piece of felt. It almost went unnoticed until it got caught on my esophagus. Wine helped washed it down. Thanks wine, for your always appreciated help in these situations.

Wait, why do I sew angry foods again? I always get to this point, where I’m super stoked about my great new idea, and cut it all out, and get ready to sew it, and then it occurs to me how the majority of the population does not understand what I’m doing, and just thinks it’s bizarre. In my mind I think I’m clever, but most people just smile politely and look away, and then I never get invited to dinner parties anymore.

This is taking too long, and I’m fairly impatient and want to have a nap after all that wine drinking and thumb jabbing, so I’m just going to post what I have already, and add the finished pictures later…

To be continued…