I’ve always been fascinated with history. Mostly just the mundane parts about history like what people wore, things they kept in their kitchens, things they did for entertainment. I used to pour over this old facsimile Hudson’s Bay catalog my parents used to have in their basement. It would list things from the turn of the century, when you could buy corsets for $1.25, kitchen tables for $19.00, flour 10lbs for $.20 . It was just so interesting to imagine how people lived back then, these items and details of their lives. They were just regular people. This is what I’m obsessed with. I just love the idea that each one of us, in our own way, has a story to tell – and the things we surround ourselves with and use on a daily basis, end up making a patchwork quilt of what ultimately makes us who we are. This is the back story of our lives. This is the stage that we are standing upon. I like to thing that 50 years from now, some random girl (or me, on my deathbed) will be looking at historical artifacts (while in a spaceship, no doubt) also fascinated by how simple things were back in 2010; how quaint, and unhindered life was! Free of all the troubles and issues of current life. This is progress. This is history.
Since I was 13, each year on my birthday I sit down, pen in hand and write an extensive summary of what has happened to me during that year. Objects I love, friends I hang out with, boys I have crushes on, troubles I’m experiencing, music I’m listening to. Issues of the day. I imagine that one day I will enjoy opening all these tiny envelopes and reading about these things I will no doubt forget along the way. There is no way the brain could ever hold onto it all, and my memory is particularly terrible.
I’m so very easily distract…
what’s that? a squirrel?
I’m hungry.
I wonder when the next episode of True Blood is coming out?…
huh? Where was I?…
…oh yes, my lack of focus and inability to remember anything. I think that so many people claim A.D.D. these days that it doesn’t even mean anything anymore. Although I don’t think I have ADD, however I definitely have something that hinders my ability to keep my mind focused on anything for more than 2 minutes. Over stimulus by everything in my environment. Colours! Shiny Objects! Flashing Lights! Cupcakes! This is why I have 10 projects going at any given time, 5 books I’m absorbed in, 3 songs I can’t shake out of my mind. I’ve learned to deal with it after all these years though, I’ve adapted. Mostly by writing things down. Hence this blog, a hard copy journal, and these yearly time capsule monologues. It’s become exceedingly more important to me as time goes on that I preserve at least a tiny bit of my life, no matter how ordinary it might seem. I imagine I will appreciate the description of each apartment I’ve ever lived in, a favorite pair of jeans, the cushy slate blue couch I love to read on, the perfume I wear daily that smells of vanilla cookies. Because I will outgrow all these things. The years will pass by, and I will get new couches, new jeans, new apartments. I will reinvent myself a few times over slowly morphing into a person I can’t yet quite imagine, but who is slowly coming into focus with each new birthday. It’s exciting. And it’s interesting to imagine the future, while relishing each moment of the present.
